Family Matters

Every morning, as I see my kids prepare for school, I pray that they be kept safe and the world be nice to them. However, I know that there will always be good and bad days for everyone and as much as I would like to shield my children from the not-so-good days, I know that I can't and that they have to go through their own share of problems to build character. For this, I pray harder that Hubby and I have equipped them with the right values to help them survive difficulties that may come their way.

Responsibility and discipline are two things that I, as a mom, would like my kids to have. Knowing that I cannot always be there to check on them, I try to teach them the value of being responsible and disciplined. For us, being responsible means knowing your share and doing it to help achieve a common goal. Discipline for us means being able to distinguish the right from wrong and always choosing to do what is right. It also means knowing that there is time for everything.

And so, in our effort to teach them about responsibility and discipline, family meetings are conducted once in a while after dinner, before we all go to bed. Hubby and I try to make them understand that the family is a team and that each of us can do our share towards keeping the family happy and strong. With this, we try to let the kids think about what they can do for the family. Surprisingly, the kids were very eager to list down the things they can and are willing to do for the family. I think this is a good exercise because it makes them feel that we (Hubby and I) trust them and respect their ideas.

I am happy to share with you some guidelines in the family (proposed and approved by all of us, including the kids). Of course, what works for us may not work for every family so you can always customize as you see fit.

1. The truth will always set you free. Little by little, the kids have learned that being honest and open to Mom and Dad is the better choice especially when they have done something wrong like failing to submit a homework or school project. We will always appreciate honesty and we think that to be brave and honest in admitting you have done something wrong is a good sign that you realized what you have done and that you have learned from it. Hubby and I also try to understand what may have caused the behavior so we can talk to them about what they can do should they find themselves in the same situation again in the future.

2. While Mom and Dad work hard to earn a living, the kids study hard to maintain good grades in school. This is their responsibility not only to the family but, more importantly, to themselves. Hubby and I always remind them that the long hours of studying is a process that will build character and discipline and that the fruits they will reap from studying is endless.

3. Hubby and I believe that learning does not only take place within the confines of the classroom so we encourage the kids to pursue other interests be it sports, dancing, etc. We agree that these will help them grow to be well-rounded individuals. These activities also teach them time management as they have to learn how to strike a balance between extracurricular activities and academics.

4. Think "abundance." There is always room for everybody. There will always be enough for everyone. The value of "sharing" and being happy for other people's achievements are some things we also try to instill to the kids.

I must admit that everything is still a work in progress. The Kuyas, from time to time, will go off track but they are still kids and learning is a continuous process not only for them but also for Hubby and me. Bottomline is, we will learn together and will always be there for each other.